Owning Your Projections
Transformational Life Coaching - Heal the Heart of the Matter
This handy and amazing chart is something I found in Dave Richo's book, How to Be An Adult. This is a great starting point for looking at our projections. Most of us have difficulty spotting our projections - especially in relationship to our partner. It seems so REAL that they are ....... It is precisely when it seems so real that we are in the midst of a projection and need help coming back and owning our selves. This chart is a simplified version; I find most often our uncovered projections are unique to us.
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PROJECTED
If you are strongly upset by another's: Addictiveness Anxiety Approval Seeking Arrogance Bias Bitterness, grudge -holding Caretaking Clinging Compromise Compulsive orderliness Conning Connivance Control, manipulativeness Cowardice Cruelty Cunning Defensiveness Demanding Dependency on others Flattery Foolhardiness Greed Guilt Hostility Hypocrisy Impatience Impulsiveness Incompetence Indecision Insensitivity Intimidation Jealousy Jumping to conclusions Lack of order Laziness Loneliness Loquacity Lying Neediness Obsequiousness Perfectionism Procrastination Rigidity Sarcasm Selfishness Self-pity Sense of obligation Slyness Submissiveness Tactless bluntness Taking for granted Vengefulness |
UNOWNED
Then you have but may not be using your own: Steadfastness Excitement Openness to Appreciation Self-Confidence Discernment Refusal to overlook injustice Compassion Loyalty Negotiability Organization, efficiency Teaching, encouraging Intelligent strategizing Leadership, efficiency, coordinating abilities Caution Anger Forethought Preparedness Asking Reasonable trust of others Complimenting Bravery Self-provision Conscientiousness Assertiveness Ability to "Act as if" Eagerness Spontaneity Willingness to experiment Openness to possibilities Objectivity Confrontation Protectiveness Intuitiveness Flexibility Relaxedness Openness to nurturance Articulateness Imaginativeness Asking for respect of appropriate needs Respect Commitment to do things well Honoring one's own timing Tenacity Wit Self-nurturance Self-forgiveness Choice Shrewdness Submissiveness Frank candidness Accepting Justice |