Amy J Cheney 
Heal the Heart of the Matter
Transformational Life Coaching
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Owning Your Projections

Transformational Life Coaching - Heal the Heart of the Matter
This handy and amazing chart is something I found in Dave Richo's book, How to Be An Adult. This is a great starting point for looking at our projections. Most of us have difficulty spotting our projections - especially in relationship to our partner. It seems so REAL that they are ....... It is precisely when it seems so real that we are in the midst of a projection and need help coming back and owning our selves. This chart is a simplified version; I find most often our uncovered projections are unique to us.
PROJECTED
If you are strongly upset by another's:
Addictiveness
Anxiety
Approval Seeking
Arrogance
Bias
Bitterness, grudge -holding
Caretaking
Clinging
Compromise
Compulsive orderliness
Conning
Connivance
Control, manipulativeness
Cowardice
Cruelty
Cunning
Defensiveness
Demanding
Dependency on others
Flattery
Foolhardiness
Greed
Guilt
Hostility
Hypocrisy
Impatience
Impulsiveness
Incompetence
Indecision
Insensitivity
Intimidation
Jealousy
Jumping to conclusions
Lack of order
Laziness
Loneliness
Loquacity
Lying
Neediness
Obsequiousness
Perfectionism
Procrastination
Rigidity
Sarcasm
Selfishness
Self-pity
Sense of obligation
Slyness
Submissiveness
Tactless bluntness
Taking for granted
Vengefulness

UNOWNED
Then you have but may not be using your own:
Steadfastness
Excitement
Openness to Appreciation
Self-Confidence
Discernment
Refusal to overlook injustice
Compassion
Loyalty
Negotiability
Organization, efficiency
Teaching, encouraging
Intelligent strategizing
Leadership, efficiency, coordinating abilities
Caution
Anger
Forethought
Preparedness
Asking
Reasonable trust of others
Complimenting
Bravery
Self-provision
Conscientiousness
Assertiveness
Ability to "Act as if"
Eagerness
Spontaneity
Willingness to experiment
Openness to possibilities
Objectivity
Confrontation
Protectiveness
Intuitiveness
Flexibility
Relaxedness
Openness to nurturance
Articulateness
Imaginativeness
Asking for respect of appropriate needs
Respect
Commitment to do things well
Honoring one's own timing
Tenacity
Wit
Self-nurturance
Self-forgiveness
Choice
Shrewdness
Submissiveness
Frank candidness
Accepting
Justice


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